In the year 2003 I was sickened with a disease called Arbovirus encephalitis, http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=16225 which I’ve been told has caused Postconcussion Syndrome in my brain. http://calder.med.miami.edu/pointis/tbiprov/NEUROPSYCHOLOGY/psych1.html. It did some bad damage to my brain. In a matter of 6 months I lost my 200 thousand dollar house, my car, my company car, my amazing girlfriend Jenna, all of my money, my 401-k, my dogs, half of my family, because they couldn’t understand what I was dealing with, a lot of my personal belongings, all of my friends, and most importantly my will to live. I had no choice, but to file for SS Disability. Got it on the first try. Luckily I had a descant job. I started out getting 1,700 dollars a month for me and an additional 850 for my son Travis. Now my son is 23 years old and I no longer get SS for him. I do still get about 1,950 dollars clear a month and I have medicare which is really a great program, no-matter what you hear. I never pay for anything. Office visits, xrays, blood test, hospitalization nothing! I have a prescription plan that is through Humana and it cost 15 dollars a month, taken out of my ss check. My scripts all cost 6 dollars and 30 cents.
Since 2004, I’ve been on many different anti psychotic medications. Some will work for a while and then it always seems to get bad in due time. When things are bad I have a tendency to binge drink. I also like DXM. I use that in place of drinking. Many people will say DXM is really bad, makes you sick and kills your brain. I say they know nothing of that they are talking about. I could literally do it every day. It makes you feel so good. It’s like you are in your own world with a Godly view of life. Your senses are multiplied many times over and everything is beautiful. Music has never sounded so good and you become very creative. When I trip on DXM I write in great detail and use words and sentences that I am totally incapable of writing while in a normal state. Also, somehow I can spell words I rarely ever use without even thinking about it. It may sound crazy, but I have a document of my own personal quotes. Usually thought of while on DXM. If you don’t know what DXM is, check out this site http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/dxm/dxm.shtml I’ve been in the hospital several times for alcohol poisoning. Nobody seems to understand what I am dealing with. In the past 2 years, I’ve lost my Mom and my younger sister. My sister was killed while crossing the street and a car just rolled right over her. My Mom had small cell lung cancer. I basically have nobody else in my life that is close to me aside from my son. Anytime I need something I have to bother him and it just makes me very sad. I’m tired of living like this. My doctor has tried everything to treat my symptoms and yet I still have major mental health issues. Yes I’ve seen many psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist and anyone in every field of Psychiatry.
By writing this, I hope to get more people in my life to understand who I am as a person. For the most part, my life is pretty Groovy. It’s just the every day thing of what am I going to do today?
